A Matter of Honor
by Cathy McCaskill
Summary: Joseph Cartwright must meet a family secret head on.


**A Matter of Honor** **Cathy McCaskill**

Hop Sing was talking loudly in the kitchen. His shouts came through the massive oak kitchen door as if it were paper. Even the loud clanging of the cooper pots did not stymie his shouts in Chinese. Joe reluctantly pushed the door open and tried giving the family's cook one of his most charming smiles. Hop Sing was busy chopping large hunks on onion and swooping them into the largest cooper pot. Next, he grabbed the large bunch of washed carrots and plopped them on top of the onions. Large hunks of chicken followed. Hop Sing was Joe's height but when he was angry he seemed taller at that moment Hop Sing was in a triad. From what Joe could understand the store clerk had failed to give the cowpoke who picked up the month's groceries from the mercantile the sack of rice that Hop Sing had ordered. Apparently Hop Sing was taking out his frustrations on the kitchen utensils. Hop Sing slide the pot and its delicious cargo on to the back burner of the stove. He added a pot of chicken stock to the mixture. He picked up the butcher knife again and attacked a dozen or so potatoes.

Princess, the family's orange and white tabby, strutted into the kitchen through the open window. The cat was use to ruling the kitchen, but one look at Hop Sing wielding the surgurically sharp butcher knife and she turned her tail and ran back under the crack of the partially open kitchen window.

Joe laughed to himself and yelled over the clanging of the pot, "Hop Sing, may I help you with anything?" Hop Sing did not hear him and moved to place the warm apple pie on the kitchen window ledge to cool. The crisp lemon yellow cotton curtains danced in the summer breeze. Hop Sing noticed Joe and told him that he did not need his help. He glared at Joe and then stabbed the butcher knife into the heart of the cutting board.

"Come back after dinner", said Hop Sing in a rough voice. He knew that Joe hated washing dishes. Chopping wood or butchering the chickens was more of Joe's style. Joe laughed, gave Hop Sing a deep ceremonial bow and headed back into the dinning room to join his two brothers. As usual Hoss repeated that he admired Joe for being able to learn Mandarin while he had trouble just learning the English alphabet. Adam slapped Hoss on the back and concurred. Hoss wasn't sure if Adam meant that he knew that Hoss had found learning to read a Herculean task or if he admired Joseph for learning to speak and write the Mandarin language.

Joe tipped an imaginary hat and laughed along with his brothers.

Honorable son, yelled Hop Sing from the kitchen. Joseph looked at each of his brothers and gave his shoulders a shrug and trotted into the kitchen. With his butcher knife in his hand and a sinister glare in his eyes, Hop Sing silently crept toward Princess. The feline was royally and boldly licking the buttery ooze from the center of the apple pie as it cooled on the window ledge.

Joe called out, "Princess save yourself. Git before it's too late." The cat took one look at Hop Sing and one look at the gleaming knife and fled for her life. She didn't stop running until she reached the rafters of the barn.

Joseph laughed until he cried. Hop Sing cursed the cat and found himself laughing with Joe. He pulled out the yellow sturdy oak chair and slapped his knees as he laughed along with Joe.

"You are a most honorable son Joseph. We eat felines at home in China," laughed Hop Sing. Joe continued laughing he thought how odd it was to hear Hop Sing address him as Joseph. He had known Hop Sing all his life. It was Hop Sign's hand which had wiped away Joseph's tears through scrapped knees and bruised egos as he grew into manhood. Although few and far in between there were times when Hop Sing taught him to guard his heart from ruthless women and yet extend it to the one who would become his wife.. He loved and respected him. Hop Sing was more than a cook and man servant to him. He did feel like Hop Sing's son

"Hop Sing are you goin' to let her live? I think the pie will taste just as good. Princess just wanted to give it a little taste test. Hop Sing looked at Joseph and smiled. Hop Sing gathered his thoughts and motioned for Joe to sit in the chair next to him. Hop Sing looked out the bay window as if he heard a distant voice speaking only to him.

"Joseph, the words do not come easily to me. You are my boss's child and yet you are ….like a son to me. I love each of Ben's sons…but you have a …unique place of honor in my heart….You know of this do you not Joseph? Hop Sing continued to look out of window. He was still listening to the still faint voice in his head. Joe nodded in agreement.

"Are you sick? …Is there some other problem? Is there something else serious that's going on? Yes, Hop Sing you are like a father to me." Hop Sing stood bowed and continued.

"A man of my age gives his honorable son his sword and his inheritance before journeying to the other side. Do you understand Joseph? I have no family here…I want you to accept these things from me … I do not think that my time has come…Will you accept them? It is important to me," Hop Sing waited for the words to deliver their deep meaning to Joe's heart.

"Well sure, Hop Sing I would be most honored, " Joe bowed as he knew he should during such occasions. Hop Sing had taught him a lot over the years about the Mandarin customs.

"There is a letter which I will give you one day. It is the custom to give it to one's son some time before death," Hop Sing said in English. Hop Sing turned from Joe and went back to stirring the large pot as if the conversation had not occurred.

Joe was unsure of what to do now so he left quietly. As he turned to leave he saw his Pa standing just outside the door. His Pa looked lost as if he needed someone to help him find his way. Had he heard Hop Sing's conversation with him? Joe thought that Pa had heard the their exchange. If so, why had the conversation troubled him?

"Pa, you okay?" asked Joe of his father. Ben furrowed his brow and stared at Joe. Maybe Pa is afraid he'll lose my love to Hop Sing. He should know better than that. I love my Pa dearly and nothing will change that as long as I am his son.

"Is it time for dinner Joe?" asked Ben. Joe knew that his Pa knew that dinner was at an hour away. "No matter, I need to tell you boys about the deal for the horses. Captain Cain signed the agreement Adam drew up." Ben laughed and ran his hand through his mixed grey hair. He gave a sigh and sat with his sons at the dining room table. The father and his sons spent over an hour in laugher and sharing tall tales about the breeding abilities of their new horses. Ben had crafted a fantastic deal with the army. The profit would be large but fair. Joe knew that the next month would mean that his backside would be bruised helping to break the wild horses before they could be delivered to the army. He could almost feel the soothing suave that Hop Sing concocted for Joe to slaver over any sensitive area after days of breaking horses.

Hop Sing did not sit with the Cartwright's but only caught snatches of their yarns as he brought or left food and drinks. He'd join in the laughter or add his own piece to the wild tales they were spinning. Joe noticed that Hop Sing spoke in broken English mixed with Mandarin and addressed the men always as Mister. Joe wondered if Hop Sing ever tried of the game of being the halfwit servant boy. Joe hated this game or mask that Hop Sing assumed with the other Cartwrights. The sham was an assault to Hop Sing. Hop Sing was a man of depth and wisdom. The more Joe brooded about the game that he had seen Hop Sing play over the years the quieter he became. Joe fained fatigue. He yawned in front of the others. He winked at Hop Sing picked up the tray of unconsumed pie and coffee cups and headed for the kitchen.

"No need to take that pie to the kitchen, Joe I'll just help you with that last piece little brother," Hoss stood up and sucked the last hunk of pie between his grinning lips.

"Don't suck up the cups we'll need those in the morning," laughed Joe.

"I have to keep my strength up Little Joe. We can't all live on love like you and Clare. As soon as that little gal gets back from New Orleans in the morning I'm going to start fattin' her up. She's as cute as a buttercup…but she's just too skinny… for my taste." Hoss slapped Joe on the back causing him to almost spill the contents of the tray.

"Well…my big brother…she ain't for your likin'. She's my wife and she's perfect. I miss her mightily. Tomorrow can't come fast enough for me." Joe pushed the kitchen door open and placed the tray on the kitchen cabinet closest to the sink. Moon beams played on the tips of the oak leaves near the back porch. It was as if the leaves were calling him. Joe unbolted the kitchen door and sauntered onto the porch. The moon shone on him and two owls called to each other.

Joe walked to the ancient oak tree. He traced Clare's name which he had craved into the bark on the first day he learned her name. He had not done such a childish thing since he was thirteen and had his first crush on Mary Beth Oman. Clare made him feel like teenager. He mused about his inability to look Clare in the eyes or speak in a complete sentence on the first time he called on her in New Orleans. He wanted to give her the very best the world had to offer.

Once during their brief courtship he bought her a dozen red roses, but throw them away when he saw a blemish on one. "Hurry back to me, my love and my wife. I ache for you my Nubian queen." Joe stretched his arms out wide as visions of Clare danced in his mind. Hugging him back. Joe chuckled and kicked a rock into the porch. "Hurry back to me," he whispered and turned to go back into the house.

Standing in the shadow of the doorway was Hop Sing. Hop Sing laughed, "You love you wife intently." Joe looked at Hop Sing. He knew that Hop Sing too had known the true meaning of the words, 'and the two shall be as one flesh.'

"You miss Ming Nu, don't you? Even after all these years? I hope the pain will one day lessen for you." Joe whispered.

"She and I will be together again one day; I believe that intently." Hop Sing moved aside to let Joe into the kitchen. He kept the door ajar as if Ming Nu was walking behind Joe.

Hop Sing looked at Joseph and let his glaze drop to the kitchen floor. He pulled his long grey braid over his shoulder. He looked fragile, thought Joe.

'"It is time you learned the truth…most honorable son. It is not easy for me to say, but a man of honor does fear that which is difficult. Joseph…. you are my son." Joe placed his hand on the gentle younger man's shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

"Thank you, Hop Sing. I feel very close to you as well," Joe said and he too looked at the floor.

"Hop Sing you know that you're like a part of the family," Joe remarked.

"No, Joseph you do not understand. You are my son. It is now beyond the season of telling…You must know the truth." Hop Sing was now looking at Joe as tears pooled in the elderly man's black eyes.

Hop Sing walked through the dinning room and entered his room. Joe closed the kitchen door, but not before Princess scampered in. Joe stroked the cat and tiptoed into Hop Sing's large and long room. Joe reached for the matches to light the red lantern but, Hop Sing motioned to him to stop. Joe sat on a red and black highly carved small chair near the front window. The moonbeams reflected against the Japanese crab apple tree's white and pink blossoms and drew patterns of delicate circles as the wind caressed each one. The sheer drapes joined in the dance as the cool breeze ebbed and flowed through the open window.

Hop Sing sighed, "On a night like this one twenty five years ago, Ming Nu, my beloved wife, placed you… our baby in Marie Cartwright's arms…. Mrs. Cartwright…was asleep… she had fought long and painfully to have her baby. I watched as my Ming Li lifted Mrs. Cartwright's still little baby boy gently from Marie's arms and gave the still passenger to me. The little one had finished it's short journey. I placed you in Ming Li's arms after she gave me the still passenger. We exchanged a dead baby for a live one, Joseph, Ming Li, your half Mandarin mother, made me promise to tell you one day. Tears slide unashamedly down Hop Sing's cheeks. He straighten his back and pushed his braid behind his back as if to steel his resolve.

Ming Li's mother was half Mandarin and her…. your grandfather was not Mandarin at all. He had taken her…forced himself upon her when she was but little more than a child…As was the custom of wealthy white married me like him… His wife pretended to not know of his villainous sins, the anger was as fresh in Hop Sing's eyes as it had been when Ming Li had first sobbed the story to him decades before.

Joe was utterly confused. Before him stood the man he had trusted all his life. He had shared thing with him that he had not even told his own father let alone his brothers. Hop Sing had told him that even eagles cried when Joe had come to him and cried when he told Hop Sing that he could not understand why he wasn't as tall or as strong as his father of brothers. He had felt shame in his smaller statue. He had cried and he had been overcome with even greater shame at his emotional weakness. Hop Sing had helped to see strength in his weakness. He even reminded him that during those times God does his best work in us, once we admit we need His strength. How could this man with such wisdom and tenderness say such hurtful lies? Joe shocked his head in confusion and denial.

"What are you talking about Hop Sing….Look at me ….I'm… Ben Cartwright's son…Hoss….Adam are my brothers…you've always been our cook and housekeeper…Stop this story….these lies,´ Joseph knelt in front of Hop Sing, his eyes searching for a reprieve. "Hop Sing don't do this…don't. I've always trusted you…told you everything." Joe grabbed Hop Sing's hand. Hop Sing pulled his hand gently away from Joe's and continued in Mandarin.

"I can not prove that Marie knew…but how could she not… surely the face of the child…it's unique touch…something told her heart…. She asked Ming Li to be your wet nurse as was the custom for many of her statue in the community. Ming Li saw it as a blessing to do so." Hop Sing nervously picked up the dry kitchen towel and wiped the already immaculate sink.

Princess jumped from the ice chest onto the floor and rubbed against little Joe's legs. Joe absent mindedly brushed her away. He did not want any comfort or any contact of any kind, Hop Sing looked out the window reminiscing and keeping his back to Joe.

"My son…. We knew you would be raised with us, learn our tongue… bask in our love for you…be at my side… I could…we could spare…Marie and Ben pain. They had suffered two miscarriages before within a short time. They stood before an angry mob and took us in when a Chinese brother had been accused of stealing bread. Many of this town's fine citizens said that all Chinks were to blame and that we would soon be raping their woman as they slept…. Can you imagine such lies...? Accusing us of their sins….Ming Li and I knew that with the Cartwrights …you would be spared …the white man's hatred of our people…while giving you …our love. Ben and Marie had saved our lives when they did not have to do so. Ming Li could not…we could not have other children…the midwife told us that…after your birth… we thought it the best solution, Hop Sing turned and faced Joe, Hop Sing stared into his only son's eyes.

"Why ….. You have never…lied to me before… stop…I don't want to hear… anymore," Joe stood up and turned to leave. Hop Sing placed his warm palm on Joe's shoulder.

Joe's head started to spin. He knew Hop Sing was telling him the truth. He knew that his Pa ….Ben Cartwright loved him… but he had always felt different somehow… with them and yet …. Different… He was smaller… his skin olive … The more he looked at Hop Sing the more similarities he saw in him… They were almost the identical statue, height and weight. He remembered wearing a pair of Hop Sing's soft embroidered shoes. The language had come easily to him. Hop Sing understood the anguish of being different and yet Hop Sing had taught him to not be ashamed. Through that life lesson Hop Sing had taught him strength. Hop Sing had taught him honor in a way that neither Ben, Adam nor Hoss could.

He had dreamed of Ming Li and Hop Sing more than he had Marie or Ben, his father, Ben Cartwright was not his father …. He wanted it to be otherwise, but he knew in his heart that it was true. Joe had always faced adversity with humor and so he turned to it now. Ming Li had once told him that it is more difficult to smile than cry, but laughter is a strong medicine while dishonesty was a poison. Joe smirked. He tried to laugh, but his effort fell flat.

"I'd reckon Pa wouldn't let me have the long braid…or did Hoss try to eat it? " Joe shrugged and sat on the floor near the fireplace and rubbed Princess.

"Why now…fathe…Hop Sing. How should I address you now? Hop Sing… most honorable one….What is appropriate?" Hop Sing smiled weakly and rubbed Princess' ears.

"I need to give you something." Hop Sing hurried to his bedroom and returned with a long slender object wrapped in bright red silk. He placed it on the small table, bowed and unwrapped it. The moonbeams caught the masterfully crafted silver sword. It was about a yard long and every inch of it glimmered. Hop Sing kissed the blade, bowed again and handed it to Joe.

Instinctively, Joe bowed, kissed the blade and took it from Hop Sing. Carved on the blade were many Mandarin characters. With only the moonlight for illumination Joe read the name Mon Sing. He whispered the name aloud. It was written in flawless Mandarin. The beauty of the artful carvings made him swallow. His Adam's apple slide nervously up and down. The time of knowing had come for Hop Sing and Joe. Joe knew that now. This was their season. Joe remembered Hop Sing calling the telling of a difficult but inevitable truth a time of knowing.

"Shall I …we tell my father…Ben…., I don't think I can say the words," Joe swallowed hard, "I ….just can't seem to say it aloud. I know in my heart….but telling him. I believe it would break his heart…I am not that strong eagle that you taught me about… I just can't break his heart, there would be no honor in it." Joe forced himself to not sob, but he could not hold back the silent tears. He looked at Hop Sing pleading silently for him to acquiesce.

"Speaking of this would serve no purpose…Mr. Ben Cartwright is a good man…an honorable man. We must let him end his journey in peace," Hop Sing hugged Joe with tender love. "We will speak no more of this time knowing on this apple blossom night. You know and have let the truth flood your heart. We have shared the truth before a witness. Nothing else is needed. There would be no honor in it." He extended his hand to Princess and she licked it with her sand paper like tongue. Princess purred loudly happy for all the attention.

" I will place the sword within your closet. I ask that you keep it there until my journey has ended. It is the custom of our people Mon Sing. That is your name amongst our people." Joe rewrapped the sword as he spoke quietly to his father. "I remember the story that you told me about the young samara warrior named Mon Sing. He had saved the life of an elderly king and was given a magical sword of truth by the king. With the sword he slew the dragon called Hatred. The handsome samara warrior married the King's beautiful daughter whom the king had named Love. The young warrior and his bride had to complete but one task before they could live happily and that was to take the gleaming silver sword with the mighty king's help they had slay the monsters of dishonesty and deception," by the time Joe repeated the tale which Hop Sing had told him hundreds of times he felt stronger than he had in a long time.

"Joseph I love you my son," Hop Sing motioned to the open sitting room door. That fairytale was about me….is that why you told it to me so often," inquired Joe.

"The answer is two-sided like the sword. Yes, the story is of you and of me but it is the same story for all of the Lord's children. Mon Sing is my given name. Mr. Cartwright could never say it properly. The way he pronounced it means Short Pig, I decided that being called Hop Sing was a far better choice. Hop Sing laughed. Joe realized for the first time that Hop Sing also found strength in humor. His father like his son knew that laughter was a good medicine. "Come now my son," Hop Sing laughed again. " It is late Mr. Joseph Cartwright. You're bride will return to you in a few hours." He bowed and walked regally from the room.

Joe tucked Princess under his arm and followed. He would never forget this apple blossom night. He thanked the Lord for the truth. He felt as if he would burst until Clare was back in his arms and in his bed. His emotions had had a full ride this night. He was no longer a Cartwright and yet a Cartwright. He had acknowledged his father's wisdom and love. He ached for his bride and the need to tell her of this revelation. Princess squirmed and jumped from Joe's arms and scampered silently back to Hop Sing's door.

"Sleep well Mr. Cartwright," Hop Sing called after Joe. Hop Sing had once again began the subservient game and slipped back into their roles for the public. Joe nodded and tiptoed up the stairs and snuck into his bedroom. He dreamed of Clare throughout his few hours of slumber. The rooster, Old Tom, had barely finished his boastful crowing when Joe galloped past him in full stride. Cochise, his horse, was bearing down. She knew that her master was impatient and that he loved the chance to run unbridled.

"Get me to her now!" Joe whispered into the horse's ears and gave her more room to fly. "I need you at your fastest now boy…get me there as fast as you can…there's some sugar cubes in it for you," Joe laughed aloud in anticipation of Clare's embrace. The horse and the man sped across the flower lined paths and the rocky hillside, they watched the dawn bid adieu to the morning. Joe saw the approaching buggy and let out a loud, "Ye Ha!" Clare heard him before she saw him and waved her hat in the direction of his call. She was full of joy unspeakable. Her love was almost within reach.

"Joseph… Joseph…I love you," She knew he could not yet hear her but it did not matter. She need to say it aloud in the fresh morning air. She was impatient. Her heart raced faster than the slowly prodding buggy was going. She impulsively but masterfully took the reins from Mr. Latif and yelled out a "Ye Ha!" The horse responded and ran like lighting. Misty the albino filly sped toward Cochise. She was in season and so was he. Both the horse and the woman were racing towards their objects of affection.

Almost there, we're almost there, he thought. Joe pulled Clare from the buggy and kissed her deeply in the process. Cochise nuzzled Misty and blew his hot exhausted breath in her face.

"Clare I love you…don't ever leave…again…I can't bear it …. a month…is too long …for us to be out of reach … out of each other's arms…"He kissed her so deeply that his jaws almost locked. His hat fell to the ground as Clare grabbed a handful of Joe's curly brown hair. Joe reached for Clare to tighten his embrace and they fell onto the dewy grass. They rolled to the bottom of the knoll and continued kissing and clinging to each other as they tumbled. Their bodies began their dance as they pushed and pulled rhythmically against each other. Joe pulled Clare's jacket from her and kissed the top of her neck. She unbuttoned the top four shirt buttons and planted a kissed on his neck. His hands covered hers as they pulled his shirt from his pants. Joe was returning t his wife's deep kiss when they heard the yelling.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cartwright are you all right…I'm going for help, I'll be right back…Oh God… I hope they're alive…Oh God….Help them….Help me!" screamed Mr. Latif frantically.

Mr. Latif, we're fine… we're here," screamed Joe up the hill. "Mr. Latif…we're fine. We're on our way up." Joe looked at Clare and smiled as she wiped the smeared lipstick from his mouth.

"Thank you Mrs. Cartwright…but it you touch my lips like that again, I might not be able to make it up the hill on my own." He gazed seductively into his wife's eyes. He placed his fingers between is teeth and whistled for Cochise. The steed reluctantly responded as he gently bumped Misty with his buttocks in their breed's most intimate gesture of intention. Cochise made his way down the hill and stood at his master's side.

"Good boy, let's get the misses on solid ground." Joe lifted Clare onto the saddle and motioned for her to button her jacket. "Mr. Latif won't be able to walk much less drive a buggy if you don't," teased Joe.

Clare chuckled and said, "Mrs. Latif won't be able to think if she gets a gander at your muscular chest my fine young husband" Clare said as she motioned for Joe to button his shirt and tuck it back into his pants. Joe nodded.

Mr. Latif face was red and he was continually thanking God aloud as the Cartwrights came over the crest of the hill with Clare Cartwright riding Cochise as Little Joe guided the horse by the reins. "Sorry for giving you such a scare, Mr. Latif, but we're fine and eager to get home, said Joe with a wink. Mr. Latif understood the desires of the young couple and smiled. He mumbled, "That's okay me and the misses still enjoy each other's company after all these years. There may be snow on the roof but there's still a blaze in stove. I better just head on home to her. I'm just grateful my prayers were heard and you folks weren't hurt none as far as I can see." He galloped off in the buggy. Misty whinnied in protest and bid farewell to Cochise.

"Let's go boy," Joseph said as he swung onto the horse and trotted the horse toward the Ponderosa. "Once we buy Misty from the Latifs, the two of you will be together and you can race all you want." He pulled the reins taut and nudged the horse toward the beaten path to the Ponderosa. "After that long stagecoach ride with those big ole handsome cowboys and that unformate tumbled down that hill with you just now…I do declare that I need a cold mint julep and a long quiet night's sleep before galloping over to our homestead young man," Clare whisper into her husband's right ear. Her hot breath mingled with her rose pedal perfume and raced down to Joe's toes and back up again.

"Down boy", he said aloud. Cochise slowed his gait. "Cochise… I meant…never mind. Clare if you don't stop it. I'm going to pull you off this horse and have my way with you in the middle of the road." He thought for a moment, "What young men on the stage coach? I need to hear about that…Miss Southern belle."

"Of course, I told them I was married to the most handsome horse breeder in Nevada, but they paid no never mind to that statement, sir." Even though he knew that Clare was joking he did not like his mulato wife calling him sir.

"Are you going to stop that teasing…or do we pull over? joked Joe.

"Home…sir and you better make it quick…I do declare that I need a n….a…p. " She gave Joe's waist a tight squeeze and kissed the back of his neck. She panted into his ear and whisper the promise of a performance that made him blush down to his waist and he let out a, "Ye Ha!" He promised himself that he was going to hold her to her whispered promise. Traveling at full speed over the countryside to the Ponderosa was a blur to them by the time they arrived. Joe asked the ranch hand who approached him at the gate of the Ponderosa to tend to Cochise for him. Cochise whinnied a moment unused to anyone caring for him other than his master, but he trusted him and went with the ranch hand quietly.

"You've got two minutes to say your hellos and get us in bed before I start proving to you that I will hold you to your promise," said Joe. He swooped her into his arms and carried her into the parlor of Ben Cartwright's home. "Pa we're home, Hoss, Adam… anybody." Not hearing anyone respond, Joe kissed Clare and raced up the stairs to his former bedroom He had not made his bed that morning in his haste and gently placed Clare onto the rumpled linen. He pulled her jacket off and saw that her tight fitting blouse was unlaced at the top revealing her light brown skin. He didn't know what to do first, kiss her or show her how much he had missed her. Clare reached for him to help relieve some of the pressure. Their hands interlaced as they kissed.

"I love you my husband…"Clare closed her eyes and kissed him. " I love you Clare, my wife…my life." Clare tugged at his shirt popping a button from its place. The button rolled out the door and bumped into Hop Sing's soft shoe. He left the button in the hallway and quietly closed the door and padded down the steps to begin preparations for lunch. "I don't need to see my grandchild being conceived…I 'll just wait for its birth like the rest of the family," Hop Sing chuckled and hummed an ancient Chinese love song as he lugged the heavy copper pots to the table. He heard Princess meow as the cat slid its body between the ledge and the bottom of the partially opened kitchen window. He noticed that her belly was swollen and nipples had formed on her underbelly. "You too Princess?" he asked in Mandarin. Princess purred, sat and cleaned her right paw.

"Hop Sing, Joseph, Clare …where is everyone?" barked Ben Cartwright, the silver haired patriarch of the family. He knocked the dust from his pants with his perspiration filled brown hat.

Hop Sing ran out to greet him, "Mr. Ben…Mr. Joe and Missy Clare sleep now…no yelling…no yelling…Hop Sing cook now…Keep down noise…now!" Hop Sing waved his butcher knife and stomped back into the kitchen muttering in his language the whole way.

"We'll that's a fine how do you do," laughed Ben. He started to wake his youngest son and his wife, but he thought better of it. He poured himself a glass of wine and walked onto the front verandah to wait for Hoss and Adam to join him after they had tended to the horses and put the backboard away. Ben mouthed quiet to Hoss and Adam. He pointed to the Joseph's upstairs bed room. He sauntered off the verandah and walked toward his oldest and middle sons. "Joseph and his bride are asleep they are exhausted…," whispered Ben.

"I just bet little brother is exhausted by now…"Adam mumbled to Hoss as he pulled out his gold pocket watch and looked up to Joe's bedroom window.

"What was that you said," asked Ben.

"Northing Pa, just asking Hoss a question, what time do you have Hoss?" Hoss understood the innuendo of Adam's first veiled whispered comment and blushed.

"Well someone has to replenish the earth…not everyone was meant to be single," Ben scowled at Adam and looked at Joe's bed room window. They could hear Joe singing slightly off key and heard Clare's giggling and then the sounds were partially lost on the summer breeze. Adam thought he heard moaning or something, but he distanced himself from the thought. He turned his thoughts to his own wife, Mariah and their intimate times together. He excused himself and rode home as fast as possible.

Hoss hadn't missed the change in Adam's expression or the intimate sounds floating down from Joe's bedroom. He felt a pang of loneliness and thought about Miss Lily in town. He needed to tell that little gal how he felt about her. He excused himself and went to the barn to take the surrey into town to see Miss Lily. He mumbled some excuses to his Pa which were not lies but vague statements at best. Maybe she would go for a ride with him. He would practice what to say to her on the way in to town. He didn't want to break out in a sweat like a hog as he usually did when he tried to have a simple conversation with her. He knew he wasn't as charming as Joe or as articulate as Adam but he knew love and he had fallen in love with Lily and he aimed to marry her and make her his own. He was bound and determined to do just that.

Ben's thoughts floated to Mrs. Harriet Simpson. She was a first class lady and a widow. She sang in the church choir and would not tolerate foolishness. She had told him with no hesitation that he was a fool if he did not open his heart to Clare. She had told him that anyone who called himself a Christian was going straight to hell if he couldn't accept a black woman as his daughter in this day and age, it was 1840 after all she fumed. Ben smiled as he recalled the verbal slap she had given him when he had hemmed and hawed about her interpretation of the Scripture, that God was no respecter of person.

Harriet had told him that she would have to pray long and hard to forgive him for looking at Clare's skin color rather than her heart. She had reminded him that being falsely pious meant you were a hypocrite and a liar and that the truth wasn't in you. She had told him that she knew that he was closer to The Lord than that. She reminded him firmly that the evil one was just trying to shake him loose and that if you spent all your time biting and devouring one another then before you knew it you will have consumed each other." Ben had listened thoughtfully and responded that was her words weren't verbatim Galatians 6:13 but he got her drift. Harriet had thanked him for his patience and continued,

"Hold fast to the word, we fall sometimes Ben Cartwright, but we've got to hold each other accountable and hold fast." Ben remembered her admonishments as if they had happened just a moment ago even though their heated conversation had occurred almost a year prior. She had forgiven him and told him that it was her job as a Christian was to tell him the truth.

"Many of your 'false friends' will politely let you go to hell. They want you to end up in the same pit of eternal damnation as they will, if they don't change.' she had said to him. Ben marveled at the way Harriet rarely if ever raised her voice above that of polite conversation.

Harriet had attended both the wedding and the elegant reception when many of his 'false friends' as Harriet had called them, had not attended either event. She's a fireball, Ben mused to himself. He couldn't recollect any other woman or man for that who had dared to challenge him with such bluntness. "I think I'll remind Harriet of that conversation just to stir the fires a might," murmured Ben to himself.

Princess pranced out the barn and ran to the verandah she had heard Ben's murmurings. She was looking for the youngest master, but the Boss will do she thought as she rubbed against his legs and purred.

"Sorry but I'll have to see you later little Princess I have some place to go and a very special lady with whom to spend some time," Ben tipped his hat to the cat. He hastily hitched the buggy and headed to Harriet's. "It is a fine day for a picnic and I'll invite her to Sunday dinner with Joe and Clare. It could happen," he laughed

"I love you my sleeping warrior," Clare whispered as she reached for her robe and slid out of Joe's arms. He groaned. just as she kissed him on the forehead. He playfully grabbed her around the waist and started singing,

"My true love came a calling and caught my eye…" She loved it when he sang. What he lacked in talent he made up for in sincerity. He pulled her near and kissed her forehead, her neck, her lips, her shoulders, and the top of the valley of her breasts and Joe continued kissing her repeatedly. Retracing his path "I love you," was repeated by both spouses numerous times along the way.

Clare giggled and kissed him deeply. "I love you Joe. ..may I…"she moaned into the air and ran her fingers through the moist curls at the top of his head. He looked up and kissed her with hunger this time. She moaned and as his kiss deepened she pointed her toes in ecstasy. " I love you Joseph Cart…wright." Joe looked up again to find her smiling down at him. Goose bumps covered her thighs under her petticoat. He smiled and kissed her deeply again.

They drifted into a mellow sleep. They woke with a start at the resonating sounding of the dark cherry grandfather clock's chimes. Joe counted thirteen chimes. Clare nuzzled his neck; Joe was pleased and kissed her deeply.

"Now, now Mr. Cartwright we must go down stairs for nourishment. Your family will think we were injured in the fall," said Clare.

"They don't even know about our being on the grassy knoll. That was a good try though. I think we have at least twenty minutes before we're called for lunch. You promised four long kisses on that hill and I've counted three….you owe me Mrs. Cartwright," mumbled Joe.

"But you have to promise that we will go down for lunch after number four. Promise," said Clare.

"Okay I promise," remarked Joe. "Now let's find number four or do you want me up here or….," Clare kissed him and started the race to number four. Number four turned into number five and then they heard the bellow.

"Mr. Joe, Missy Clare….lunch is ready…Hop Sing …no wait… will feed food to cat…to pigs …if you wait much longer." Joe heard the familiar rantings and he had almost stopped listening when he heard a complete change in Hop Sing's tone of voice. Hop Sing was speaking loudly but deliberately. Joe sat up in bed as he quickly understood Hop Sing's sentence. "Welcome home Mon Sing …may the Lord bless your quiver with many strong arrows."

"Honey," Joe moved Clare's brown hair off her shoulders and kissed her neck. "I have something to tell you….Hop Sing is.. ,"Joe stammered.

"Hop Sing is going to tan our hides if we don't get down there, chop chop, "said Clare dramatically. Joe hated the stereotypical phrase. He knew his wife didn't mean anything by it, but it upset him none the less.

"Don't say 'chop chop', honey I think it means, 'Stupid One' in Hop Sing's language," said Joe emphatically.

"You think… I know you understand Mandarin. I can tell you and Hop Sing have a special connection. If anyone is making everyone else look like stupid ones, it's you and Hop Sing, you know he just pretends to be a… I don't know what to call it…but he's a brilliant man. I hate to see him… do that play acting. I think he does it around the Cartwrights because some of their bigoted business associates may come walk in unannounced! I know how …that. can…devour …" Clare let the unfinished statement hang and fastened her jacket and brushed her hair off her shoulders.

"What's do you need to tell me? It better not be that you want to go for ten long kisses at this very moment." Clare's tone softened. She knew that Hop Sing's way of dealing with bigots was not Joe's fault. Joe nodded and said a barely audible, "No."

Joe knew that his wife hated bigotry and injustice and she had a short fuse when they reared their heads in her presence.

"Maybe tonight we could go for ten though…if you don't…," he mumbled and his voice trailed off into oblivion. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. He went to the closet and fetched the first shirt he saw there and put it on. Clare thought it odd that her husband had button every button on the shirt. He usually, kept the three buttons undone when they were alone together. She watched him knell down in the closet and pick up a red silk long bundle. He picked it up and carried it outstretched to the bed Clare watched him carefully unwrapped it to reveal a gleaming silver sword. She watched him slowly look up at her.

"Clare…you trust me don't you? I have not lied to you since we married…I need you to let me talk for awhile without interrupting me. What I have to tell you is difficult for me…it's so new… I have to tell you the truth or I'll just explode….All I ask is that you trust me and …. Respond honestly….no matter how you think I may…. Just please respond honestly.… My name is Mon Sing. …Hop Sing gave this ceremonial sword to …. me…because….he is my father…I am not rich…I am not Ben Cartwright's son….I am not Adam's or Hoss' little brother. If this changes anything…or everything…. Tell me now…. I try to be an honorable man… I will release you from …our vows…from all obligations…. It is our custom. Mandarins do not hold people to a vow when all conditions were not known in the beginning. Hop Sing taught me that long ago," stammered Joe.

"I can not release you from my heart…although, I will not stand in your way…. The homestead is yours to keep or…sell…or burn to the ground…it is your right," Joe said with frustration. He silently prayed to God Almighty with every ounce of fervor he had in his soul that Clare still loved him. He held his breath and looked out the window as the drapes played in the hot sunny breeze. He knew that he would not stand if he saw rejection in her soulful brown eyes. He could bear under the words but not the direct look of it.

"Hop Sing's… son….Hop Sing's son… are you sure?... Does Ben know?….how long have you known?" Joe sheepishly flopped on the edge of the bed.

"Mon Sing, that's his real name, He told me during the night of the apple blossom,… yesterday. No one else knows…he asked me to promise to keep silent since telling my Pa, Ben Cartwright, 'would serve no purpose,' as Hop Sing put it. He knew that I would have to tell you. Mon Sing said that one can not keep secrets from one's self and prosper. Joe took in a deep breath, he looked spent and frightened, "Sit with me, please." He extended his hand to her. She kissed it.

"I wonder what our children will look like, should we be so blessed, they will have a little bit of everything running through their veins, Negro, white, Mandarin, Sioux, African…Joseph, I love you…money doesn't matter, you know that…. I've loved you since I first laid my eyes on you…even when I found out you weren't a mulatto like me. Remember when you finally got the nerve to tell me. I remember like yesterday when you first rode into town after delivering those horses to the army outpost… The New Orleans sun had baked you until you were browner than I am. I couldn't believe a white man could look so brown and be so kind. I really couldn't believe that a white man could be almost afraid to admit he was white," Clare smiled at the thought of them just a year ago. "I have no intention of releasing you from any vows…you promised me ten long kisses every day of our lives and I'm holding you to it partner." She sashayed to the bed grabbed Joe by the hands and kissed him hard. Joe fell back against the bed and held his hand to his heart as he teased his wife.

"I love you, Mrs. Clare Monet Sing Cartwright. Please don't ever leave me and keep my secret close to your heart," Joe pleaded.

"I promise Mon Cheri," returned Clare batting her thick eyelashes.

"If you start speaking French…I will have no choice but head for number seven right now." Joe smiled seductively and pulled her to her feet. He starred at her and all frivolity passed away. "Thank you for loving me…enough to…take me as I am… I thank the Lord …. That you still love me …. Want to be my wife…. I love Clare….thank you." Joe fought to control his emotions. He lost the battle as tears escaped. He held Clare in his arms and together they prayed a prayer of thanksgiving. "Grumble, Grumble."

"I suppose you're still hungry my wife? teased Joe.

"Yes I am my husband even though your big brother Hoss says we live on love. A few morsels of food are needed every once and again, as we say in Orleans, smirked Clare. They kissed again and ran down the stairs. At the bottom of the steps they kissed each other and could feel their temperatures rise. Hoss, Adam, and Ben broke into laughter as the young couple hearing them for the first time blushed and jumped apart.

"Dinner …ready ….chop chop," exclaimed Hop Sing. Joe winked knowingly at Clare. Clare smiled at her new father-in-law as she became the latest member of the game. She wanted to tell Hop Sing that she was glad he had finally told Joseph the truth, but she knew this was not the time.

Hop Sing brought in tray after tray of delicious chicken, beef roast, venison, pork chops, fried green tomatoes, kale, turnips, yams, red potatoes, and pies, and a large cake laden in creamy white frosting. The fabulous two hour meal was the finest Virginia City had ever seen. The conversation had rich and lazy exchanges matched the summer breezes that flowed through the windows. Hop Sing lifted the tall cake from the cherry side board. "This cake very special….Missy Clare describe it to Hop Sing…before she left for New Orlins…I make for Missy Clare. Called kar..rotton cake….," Hop Sing bowed as he presented it to Clare.

"Why thank you, Hop Sing. Please sit here next to me and have a bite with us, please, asked Clare politely. The sound was sucked out of the room. Hop Sing looked at Joe. Joe looked at Ben and then ricocheted his gaze to Adam and then to Hoss and back to Ben. Ben smiled uneasily. Clare smiled sweetly and tapped the spot between her and Joe.

"Do join us Hop Sing." Ben smiled again nervously and waited for Hop Sing to compile. Hop Sing sat uneasily next to Joe. Joseph picked up the knife and cut Hop Sing a piece of the cake and gave it to him. Hop Sing said something rapidly in his native language to Joe and extended the cake to Clare.

"Most honorable wife of Joseph Cartwright must partake first. It is our custom." Ben was startled. Ben was dumbfounded. He had never heard Hop Sing speak in a complete sentence let alone with such elegance. Without missing a beat, Hop Sing jumped back into character. "Did I say that right…Mr. Adam…ladies eat first?...Missy Clare Cartwright like it?...Tell Hop Sing or should Hop Sing give it to cat…to pigs….to Mr. Hoss," Hop Sing gave a quick wink to Clare.

Hoss slapped Joe on the back. Joe grimaced in pain for a moment. He turned to Hoss and mumbled

"Why you…wait till…I .," Joe whispered to his large middle brother. Hoss raised his left eyebrow in amusement…He didn't know that his little brother Joe knew that kind of language.

"Most honorable little Joe….you must have whispered to your brother of your love for him…Is that right Mr. Joe?" Hop Sing said innocently as he winked at Joe. Clare caught the hidden message and placed another piece of cake into her mouth.

"The cake is fabulous…thank you. You sit here Hop Sing and Joe, Adam and Hoss and I will clean up the kitchen," remarked Clare. Hop Sing jumped back into character.

"No…no Missy Clare… Hop Sing's job… Hop Sing … need job…Mr. Ben…. Throw Hop Sing out… he not work." Hop Sing picked up the remainder of the cake and hurried into the kitchen.

"Hey, Hop Sing I just need another hunk of that fancy cake to make sure I like it. Can you tell Miss Lillie how to make that?"asked Hoss. Ben laughed and shook his head.

"What was all that talk in a Hop Sing's language about?" Ben asked Joe.

"Hey Pa, you know Hop Sing and who knows half of what he's saying half the time, If someone as smart as you hasn't figured it out yet I don't know how I can." Joe shrugged and gave his puppy dog look.

"Joseph I knew you're trying to pull the wool over my eyes when you turn on the charm. No takers on the flattery either. Be mindful of those tactics Clare. Your husband can be a real smooth talker." Clare sat down and politely folded her hands together. This is better than watching Shakespeare on stage and there was no admission charge, Clare mused to herself.

"I always believed that Hop Sing favored you, What's behind it all? Tell me Joseph I want to know. It's as if you two have some secret." Ben looked earnestly at his youngest son and waited.

"Let me help my wife to bed and we'll talk when I come back down stairs. There's nothing to tell really Pa." Joe walked hand in hand with Clare. They whispered as they mounted the stairs.

"What are going to tell him? You promised secrecy to your father," said Clare.

"I don't know. It'll work out. I won't lie to Pa…to Ben… I'll just tell only what I must. I owe him that much. Come down in ten minutes and get me. Give me a kiss." said Joe as his wife returned the kiss.

Joe took two steps at a time and went into his father's study. Ben had opened the business ledgers and barely noticed as Joe stood anxiously. Ben looked over the books and added annotations as needed. Hop Sing pretended to dust the books along the left and right oak paneled shelves.

"We can talk later Pa…I liked to get back to my wife. This is our first night together in 30 days." Joe said cutting his eyes at Hop Sing.

Ben understood the unspoken message and replied, "We'll talk after dinner Joseph. Why don't you catch up on your sleep with you wife. I know how draining the stage coach ride has been for her and how trying it has been for you with her visiting relatives in New Orleans. I'll wake you two at four or for supper. Thank you for stopping here before going home. I appreciate it son. Joseph I'm short tempered with you sometime, but you know I love you son," Ben said.

"Thanks Pa, I love you too. I think I'll turn in now." Joe sighed with relief and said a silent prayer. Hop Sing smiled at Joe and began dusting in earnest.

**Chapter 2**

Joe and Clare skipped dinner and headed for home before sunrise. They were tried because of the lack of sleep. They had starting being intimate late that night. They captured number ten about two in morning. Hoss, Adam and Ben heard their giggling and Joseph's soft humming to his wife. Each of the men's thoughts roamed to his respective lady love.

Clare woke to find Joseph's side of the bed empty. His sleep shirt was rumpled on the floor where they had tossed it. The smell of fresh coffee called to her. Clare followed wrapping her hair into a loose bun and she poured the warm water from the pitcher. She knew that her husband had thoughtfully placed it there for her. She smiled washing the sleep from her eyes. She danced playfully down the steps to the kitchen. Joe was standing with his back to her singing their favorite love song.

Clare hugged him from behind and told him she loved him. He kissed her and pointed to her chair. Pancakes, bacon, toast and eggs were cooling on the table.

"I'll be right there my queen." He loaded her plate and his.

"I can't eat all that Joseph," she grinned.

"Eat what you can. I can always give the left overs to the cat or the pigs or to Hoss," he mumbled in his father's tongue. Like father like son, Clare thought and laughed shaking her hair loose and onto her shoulders.

"I can always stop you mumbling with a kiss. I want to learn the language. You can teach me a few words at a time," Clare waited. She drank a large gulp of coffee and patted for Joe to sit down and join her.

"Thank you for loving me so much…By God's grace I will never betray that trust. Joe said solemnly.

"Joseph. I love you. We vowed before God and man that it was until death do us part," replied Clare softly. She could see and feel his anguish. She wanted to spare him the pain and uncertainty that he had experienced yesterday.

"Okay Joseph I think its time for the first lesson, how do you say that," Clare asked pointing to the tomatoes and carrots in the sink.

"Shu-cai means vegetable. Repeat the word please, lovely lady." Clare enjoyed seeing her husband now at ease. She repeated the word. "Excellent", Joe beamed.

"Okay, so how do say this…, she pointed to herself and laughed.

"Zai. It means love," Clare pointed to her husband and repeated the word with a smile.

"This is fun…how do you say bread?" Clare waited patiently.

"Mianbano," said Joe slowly.

"Thank you for my first lesson," Clare bowed as she had seen Joe and Hop Sing do. Clare repeated each of the words Joe had taught her and pointed to the object.

"I think I'll write them down in English and that way I can add to my list after each lesson," Clare wanted to learn, but she was thankful that sharing this had helped dispel the awkwardness that had settle over them.

"Before we officially end the language lesson for today, please answer me one question, in which month did I become the happiest man in the world? Qi-yue which is July," Joe laughed. I was happy because I married you in July." Joe laughed and kissed her on the hand and ate the remainder of the bacon on her plate and grabbed a slice from his own plate. Each promised that they would stick to the language lessons until Clare could converse easily. They knew it would take a long time.

Their laugher stopped abruptly when Hop Sing knocked on the open kitchen door. "Mon Sing, I have received a telegraph from my brother's wife. He is ill and I must go to San Francisco to help them They have no children and they own a large restaurant. I am needed. I must go." Hop Sing hugged his son. "I… may not return… I have told the Cartwrights… If he… does not recover my place is with his wife. Their business has helped hundred of our people prosper and if he does recover, by God's grace, the community will still want me to resume my rightful place," said Hop Sing solemnly.

"Father, I have had you for such a short time," Joe selfishly pleaded. "Can't they be brought here, Ponderosa has acres of land. They can open a restaurant here, Joe said. Hop Sing pushed a bag of gold coins and a letter into Joseph's hands.

"Give these to my first grandson. Mi Sing he will need it as he pursues his studies," replied Hop Sing.

"Father, Clare is not pregnant… we don't think she can bear children…I love her… it doesn't matter to me if we have children or not" Joe looked over to Clare and she stood next to him wrapping her arms around his waist. He gave her the bag of gold coins and the letter.

"I must serve my purpose." Hop Sing bowed to each of them and kissed his daughter-in-law on the cheek and prayed for them all. Joe bowed backed and hugged his father.

"May the journey be long and blessed," said Joe as he had heard Hop Sing repeat to his friends in the past.

"May your journey be long and blessed most honorable son." Clare released Joe and hurried to the kitchen sink.

"I don't understand Joseph, my nausea is back again today." whimpered Clare. Mon Sing smiled and closed the door.

**The End**

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